Do Clothes Make the Man?

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By Suzanne Dixon M.D., M.P.H.

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"There is nothing so amazing as the development of a child," says Suzanne Dixon, M.D., a behavioral and developmental pediatrician who was one of the founding members of the Pampers Parenting Network. "Every day is a new adventure when you have a child around you. I never get tired of learning from the children who have been a part of my life, professionally and personally."

Suzanne Dixon, M.D., M.P.H., was born and raised in Minnesota and graduated from the University of Minnesota, School of Medicine. She did her pediatric training at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and then completed a fellowship in Child Development at Boston's Children's Hospital. Dr. Dixon joined the faculty at the University of California, San Diego, and did patient care, teaching, and research for 20 years. She ran a large newborn service, performed research in early child development, and was involved in many community outreach activities in maternal child health. Throughout her entire professional life she has maintained an interest in cross-cultural activities, living and working in many parts of the world, including Mexico, India, Kenya, Indonesia, and several countries from the former U.S.S.R.

Dr. Dixon is the author of numerous research articles, review articles, and textbook chapters in pediatrics, child and family development, and public health. Her textbook, written with Dr. Martin Stein, Encounters With Children: Pediatric Behavior and Development, has become a classic in child health education and is in its fourth edition. She is Editor in Chief of the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, an international journal of high standing in the professional world. She also has served as an associate editor for Infant Mental Health and currently reviews for several major pediatric journals.

Dr. Dixon is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and served in national positions in that organization. She is a member of the Society for Pediatric Research, the Society for Research in Child Development, the American Public Health Association, and the Executive Council of the Society for Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. She serves as consultant to several national and international organizations and has received an award from Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies.

Dr. Dixon continues to lecture and consult worldwide on aspects of maternal, child, and family health. She practices behavioral and developmental pediatrics in Montana and works with local advocacy groups on education and women's health. Dr. Dixon has been married for over 30 years and has three sons. She and her husband travel frequently, are outdoor enthusiasts, and enjoy being amateur anthropologists

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At this age, children are excellent observers of the differences between people. They are often particularly fascinated by what sets boys and girls apart; your child knows he's a boy, but he's still trying to figure out what makes him a boy (besides the obvious, of course). He's likely to look at hair, clothing, and activities, as opposed to what's below the diaper line.

Your child's concept of "gender stability" (the idea that males and females stay the same no matter what they look like on the outside) is pretty shaky at this point. So your child may think a person becomes a boy or girl with just a change of costume. Don't let it throw you if he tries on his big sister's hat or goes for your eye shadow. And definitely don't make fun of him or forbid his experiments: All of this is part of finding out who he is as a person.

Your son may also insist that he'll be a mommy when he grows up that's just his way of feeling close to you. His gender confusion will sort itself out by the time he's 4 or 5 without any lectures or anatomical explanations.

Of course, that's not to say that the genitals aren't of interest at this age. Preschoolers love exploring their bodies. You can help channel this attention in the right direction by teaching your child about modesty and privacy. Be sure to give your child clear explanations of how boys and girls are physically different, and use the proper names for all body parts that's the best way to start a healthy sex education. Take advantage of your child's natural interest in these things, but keep it simple. At this age, he's working out some very basic ideas about gender differences. Too much detail will overwhelm him.