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Expert Q&A:
How can I get my 10-month-old twin boys from biting each other as they play?

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Lawrence Kutner
Answered by Lawrence Kutner Ph.D.
Meet our authors
"I'm a clinical psychologist, a consultant, and a journalist," says Lawrence Kutner, "which is a great combination for someone who's nosy."

Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D. (www.drkutner.com), is a nationally known clinical psychologist who trained at the Mayo Clinic. From 1987 to 1994 he wrote the award-winning, weekly New York Times column "Parent &; Child," which was syndicated globally. From 1991 to 1999 he was the child behavior and "Ask the Expert" columnist for Parents magazine. He's also a former talk show host on KGO radio in San Francisco.

He is on the psychiatry faculty of Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, where he is co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. In addition, he's on the board of advisors to the Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Journalism Fellowship Program at the Carter Center in Atlanta.

Dr. Kutner has been a consultant to the Children's Television Workshop, the Johann Jacobs Foundation (Zurich), the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, and to major universities and corporations throughout the United States and Europe. He is a frequent guest on national television and radio networks. He received his bachelor's degree from Oberlin College in Ohio and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Minnesota. His recent books include Parent &; Child: Getting Through to Each Other, Pregnancy and Your Baby's First Year, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Your School-Age Child, Making Sense of Your Teenager, and Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Video Games and What Parents Can Do.

Dr. Kutner is the father of a 18-year-old son as well as a 30-year-old foster son from Romania. He and his family live outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
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Question


I have 10-month-old twin boys. How can I keep them from biting each other while playing together?

Answer


It's normal for some children this age and even a year or so older to bite when they get excited. Biting is simply a sign that they're emotionally overwhelmed. Since they can't express their intense feelings with words yet, they show them physically. Right now there isn't much you can do. (Luckily at this age it's more "gumming" than "biting.") As your boys grow older, you should let them know that biting simply isn't allowed. Say something like, "People are not for biting. Apples and sandwiches are for biting. But people are not for biting." Also, starting when they're toddlers you can show them more acceptable ways of expressing their frustration that don't involve words. For example, they might punch a pillow or stomp their feet. The idea is to let them share their emotions without chomping on someone. Usually biting goes away once children have the verbal skills to express intense feelings.
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