Question

My 2 1/2-year-old daughter potty trained herself three months ago. She simply said, "No more diapers, Mommy." For three weeks she was very successful, made it to the toilet every time, and was very proud of herself. I was proud too because it was her accomplishment and had very little to do with me. Now she has been having accidents every day. I don't understand this regression, nor do I know how to handle her accidents. We have gone back to disposable training pants because the mere suggestion of wearing a diaper makes her cry. I sometimes have trouble suppressing my frustration, but I know my getting angry does not help. What can I do to help her — and me — through this difficult time?

Answer

Setbacks like this are extremely common, especially among children this age. You're absolutely right that your getting angry won't help — in fact, it will make matters worse for both of you.

Young children have toilet training setbacks for a variety of reasons. For example, they're feeling stress from something else in their lives; they started before they were physically or emotionally ready; they're feeling ill. No matter what the reason, the parents' response should be the same: Don't make a big deal over it, and don't push her to go faster than she's ready to go.

You were very smart to put your child in training pants. They will help her get back on track without feeling embarrassed. They also allow her to practice the toilet training skills that may be giving her trouble, and will provide an easy transition to regular underwear once she's no longer having accidents.