Answered by Lawrence Kutner Ph.D.
"I'm a clinical psychologist, a consultant, and a journalist," says Lawrence Kutner, "which is a great combination for someone who's nosy."
Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D. (www.drkutner.com), is a nationally known clinical psychologist who trained at the Mayo Clinic. From 1987 to 1994 he wrote the award-winning, weekly New York Times column "Parent &; Child," which was syndicated globally. From 1991 to 1999 he was the child behavior and "Ask the Expert" columnist for Parents magazine. He's also a former talk show host on KGO radio in San Francisco.
He is on the psychiatry faculty of Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, where he is co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. In addition, he's on the board of advisors to the Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Journalism Fellowship Program at the Carter Center in Atlanta.
Dr. Kutner has been a consultant to the Children's Television Workshop, the Johann Jacobs Foundation (Zurich), the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, and to major universities and corporations throughout the United States and Europe. He is a frequent guest on national television and radio networks. He received his bachelor's degree from Oberlin College in Ohio and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Minnesota. His recent books include Parent &; Child: Getting Through to Each Other, Pregnancy and Your Baby's First Year, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Your School-Age Child, Making Sense of Your Teenager, and Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Video Games and What Parents Can Do.
Dr. Kutner is the father of a 18-year-old son as well as a 30-year-old foster son from Romania. He and his family live outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
Question
My 22-month-old daughter has started biting her fingernails and will not stop. She sees her dad bite his. What can I do to stop her? She already has an infection under one nail.
Answer
Nail-biting, like thumb-sucking and hair-twirling, is what's called a comfort habit. It's very difficult for a child this age to stop. In fact, we usually advise parents not to worry about it until a child is 5 years old. Yelling at a child for biting her nails or shaming her won't help. In fact, it will probably raise her anxieties and make matters worse. There are, however, a few things you can do. Encourage your daughter to find other ways of comforting herself. Let her cuddle with a favorite doll or blanket. Let her suck on a pacifier. These will give her more options when she needs to quiet herself down. See her pediatrician to treat the infection. You shouldn't try treating it yourself.
