Answered by Loraine Stern M.D.
"I adore children and being a pediatrician because of all the hugging and laughing that we do," say Loraine Stern, M.D.
Loraine Stern, M.D., clinical professor of pediatrics at U.C.L.A., has been in private pediatric practice for 35 years. Dr. Stern wrote for Woman's Day magazine from 1986 to 2005. She is a former editor of and contributor to Healthy Kids magazine. She has published two books on child care and has edited a book about pediatric nutrition for the American Academy of Pediatrics. A spokesperson for children and families, Dr. Stern has appeared on national networks and programs such as CNN, The Today Show, and Good Morning America.
Dr. Stern has two stepchildren but no animals or even green plants.
Question
How do I teach my 4-year-old daughter not to kiss boys on the lips?
Answer
First, don't freak out. Children's sexual behavior can be upsetting to us, but it's usually innocent exploration. She has seen people do this in the media and has had no indication that it is not usual and acceptable behavior. Gently remind her that this is something grown-ups do in private and that it is not for children.
This is also a good lesson for adults about the profound effects media can have on children. Look how easily her behavior was influenced by what she saw. That is why we encourage parents to limit television time and make sure programming is appropriate for the child's age.
On the other hand, when children exhibit a preoccupation with sex it may be a red flag that there is something going on in their lives that they are not ready to cope with. Children who are exposed to pornographic material or who have been sexually abused may behave in the way you describe. If your daughter persists in this behavior, see your pediatrician.
