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Expert Q&A:
Is my 3-year-old just going through a phase now, when he refuses to eat?

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Suzanne Dixon
Answered by Suzanne Dixon M.D., M.P.H.
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"There is nothing so amazing as the development of a child," says Suzanne Dixon, M.D., a behavioral and developmental pediatrician who was one of the founding members of the Pampers Parenting Network. "Every day is a new adventure when you have a child around you. I never get tired of learning from the children who have been a part of my life, professionally and personally."Suzanne Dixon, M.D., M.P.H., was born and raised in Minnesota and graduated from the University of Minnesota, School of Medicine. She did her pediatric training at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and then completed a fellowship in Child Development at Boston's Children's Hospital. Dr. Dixon joined the faculty at the University of California, San Diego, and did patient care, teaching, and research for 20 years. She ran a large newborn service, performed research in early child development, and was involved in many community outreach activities in maternal child health. Throughout her entire professional life she has maintained an interest in cross-cultural activities, living and working in many parts of the world, including Mexico, India, Kenya, Indonesia, and several countries from the former U.S.S.R. Dr. Dixon is the author of numerous research articles, review articles, and textbook chapters in pediatrics, child and family development, and public health. Her textbook, written with Dr. Martin Stein, Encounters With Children: Pediatric Behavior and Development, has become a classic in child health education and is in its fourth edition. She is Editor in Chief of the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, an international journal of high standing in the professional world. She also has served as an associate editor for Infant Mental Health and currently reviews for several major pediatric journals. Dr. Dixon is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and served in national positions in that organization. She is a member of the Society for Pediatric Research, the Society for Research in Child Development, the American Public Health Association, and the Executive Council of the Society for Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. She serves as consultant to several national and international organizations and has received an award from Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies.Dr. Dixon continues to lecture and consult worldwide on aspects of maternal, child, and family health. She practices behavioral and developmental pediatrics in Montana and works with local advocacy groups on education and women''s health. Dr. Dixon has been married for over 30 years and has three sons. She and her husband travel frequently, are outdoor enthusiasts, and enjoy being amateur anthropologists.
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Question


Is my 3-year-old just going through a phase now, when he refuses to eat?

Answer


Your job is to offer your son kid-friendly, nutritious meals and snacks and his job is to eat them. You can't force him to eat, and you can never win a food battle, so don't try. At this age, most children are picky, erratic, skimpy eaters, and drive their parents nuts. Their rate of growth is slower than earlier and it's more important for them to be in control of something (i.e. food) to exercise their own autonomy and independence. The real criterion here should not be what is he eating but whether he is maintaining a steady growth rate. Your health care provider can tell you that, or you can plot his growth on the charts on this site.

Stop making it exciting for him to wage a food battle. Back off. The ability to upset the whole household is too much power for a 3-year-old. It may be that the family stress is contributing to his need to push the limits in this area. If the dinner table is the situation when he gets the most attention, he'll continue to raise a fuss. Give him attention elsewhere. Spend evening times with him, on his own terms. Go for a messier house and simpler meals. Most 3-year-olds do very well in day care, but if his day is very long, you might explore how one of you might pick him up earlier - 4 pm instead of 6, for example. That little change might make a big difference.
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