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Expert Q&A:
My 19-month-old hates his highchair - what can I do?

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Lawrence Kutner
Answered by Lawrence Kutner Ph.D.
Meet our authors
"I'm a clinical psychologist, a consultant, and a journalist," says Lawrence Kutner, "which is a great combination for someone who's nosy."

Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D. (www.drkutner.com), is a nationally known clinical psychologist who trained at the Mayo Clinic. From 1987 to 1994 he wrote the award-winning, weekly New York Times column "Parent &; Child," which was syndicated globally. From 1991 to 1999 he was the child behavior and "Ask the Expert" columnist for Parents magazine. He's also a former talk show host on KGO radio in San Francisco.

He is on the psychiatry faculty of Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, where he is co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. In addition, he's on the board of advisors to the Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Journalism Fellowship Program at the Carter Center in Atlanta.

Dr. Kutner has been a consultant to the Children's Television Workshop, the Johann Jacobs Foundation (Zurich), the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, and to major universities and corporations throughout the United States and Europe. He is a frequent guest on national television and radio networks. He received his bachelor's degree from Oberlin College in Ohio and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Minnesota. His recent books include Parent &; Child: Getting Through to Each Other, Pregnancy and Your Baby's First Year, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Your School-Age Child, Making Sense of Your Teenager, and Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Video Games and What Parents Can Do.

Dr. Kutner is the father of a 18-year-old son as well as a 30-year-old foster son from Romania. He and his family live outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
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Question


My 19-month-old hates his highchair - what can I do?

Answer


Like all toddlers, your son is playing with the extent of his power. It's no wonder he enjoys having you follow him around with food! However, at some point he'll have to learn to sit calmly in a high chair for at least some of his meals. You might as well start now.

Put him in the chair when it's not his mealtime. Praise him for anything he does that you want. ("You did a good job of putting your legs in the holes!") Pay attention to him as long as he stays calm. Read him one of his favorite books. When he kicks up a fuss, simply look away from him and stop reading. When he calms down-this may take a few minutes-look at him again, smile, praise him for being calm, and resume reading the book.

Do this two or three times a day for a few days. At that point he should be calm and even happy when you put him in his highchair. Then you can start feeding him while he's seated. But keep in mind that you can't expect any toddler to sit still for more than a few minutes.

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