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Expert Q&A:
What should I do about my 18-month-old's constant screaming?

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Lawrence Kutner
Answered by Lawrence Kutner Ph.D.
Meet our authors
"I'm a clinical psychologist, a consultant, and a journalist," says Lawrence Kutner, "which is a great combination for someone who's nosy."

Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D. (www.drkutner.com), is a nationally known clinical psychologist who trained at the Mayo Clinic. From 1987 to 1994 he wrote the award-winning, weekly New York Times column "Parent &; Child," which was syndicated globally. From 1991 to 1999 he was the child behavior and "Ask the Expert" columnist for Parents magazine. He's also a former talk show host on KGO radio in San Francisco.

He is on the psychiatry faculty of Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, where he is co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. In addition, he's on the board of advisors to the Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Journalism Fellowship Program at the Carter Center in Atlanta.

Dr. Kutner has been a consultant to the Children's Television Workshop, the Johann Jacobs Foundation (Zurich), the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, and to major universities and corporations throughout the United States and Europe. He is a frequent guest on national television and radio networks. He received his bachelor's degree from Oberlin College in Ohio and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Minnesota. His recent books include Parent &; Child: Getting Through to Each Other, Pregnancy and Your Baby's First Year, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Your School-Age Child, Making Sense of Your Teenager, and Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Video Games and What Parents Can Do.

Dr. Kutner is the father of a 18-year-old son as well as a 30-year-old foster son from Romania. He and his family live outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
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Question


What should I do about my 18-month-old's constant screaming?

Answer


Have you considered encouraging her to become a football coach or perhaps a radio talk show host? All kidding aside, her screaming is perfectly normal. While she may be comfortable using words for mundane situations, at her age there will be times when the words she knows cannot express the intensity of the emotions she's feeling.

That's why toddlers often scream not only when they're frustrated or upset, but when they're happy or tired or simply overwhelmed. As her verbal skills increase and her brain matures, she'll have less of a need to share her feelings through sheer volume.



Meanwhile, help her put a label on her emotions. ("I can see that you're angry. You don't want to leave Grandma's house.") That will help her start to recognize what's going on inside her and be able to talk about it more clearly as she grows older.



Also, don't yell back at her when she screams. That will either frighten her or make her scream even more. Instead, try to speak to her quietly. That will sometimes help her calm down.

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