When Can Babies Self-Soothe—and How to Help Them Learn

Wondering, “When can babies self-soothe?” Most experts agree that babies begin developing the ability to self-soothe around 3 to 6 months of age, though every child is different. Before this age, newborns rely entirely on their caregivers to regulate emotions and meet their needs.

But self-soothing doesn’t mean letting your baby “cry-it-out.” Instead, it’s about gradually introducing calming techniques and giving your baby the space and support to practice settling themselves—once you’ve met all their basic needs.

Here’s a quick guide to baby self-soothing readiness by age:

In the sections ahead, we’ll explore signs of readiness, step-by-step techniques to support self-soothing, and ways to adjust your approach as your baby grows.

What Is Self-Soothing?

It's important to note that infant self-soothing does not involve leaving a baby to cry for long periods or ignoring their needs. As explained by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), helping a baby learn calming strategies is not the same as “cry‑it‑out.” Rather, it’s about giving babies time and opportunity to experiment with calming behaviors while knowing their caregiver is responsive and available.

In infancy, the ability to self-soothe might look like: finger- or thumb‑sucking, grasping a soft object (when age-appropriate), bringing hands to mouth, gently swaying or rocking themselves, or gradually calming down after a brief disturbance—without needing to be picked up right away.

Why Is Self-Soothing Important?

Learning to self-soothe isn’t just about longer naps or fewer wakings at night—it supports emotional regulation, fosters sleep independence, and lays important groundwork for your child’s long-term well-being. According to the Cleveland Clinic, self-soothing assists babies in:

• Falling asleep independently

• Returning to sleep when they wake during the night

• Sitting or playing calmly by themselves during awake moments.

Over time, this builds confidence and a sense of security: babies learn that even if they stir or wake, they can often return to sleep on their own—a skill that can benefit them throughout childhood and beyond.

Curious how well your baby is sleeping—or how to help improve it? Take this quick quiz to better understand your baby’s sleep cycle and how to support it.

When Can Babies Self-Soothe?

There’s no single age for when babies learn to self-soothe—every baby is unique. But pediatric guidance and sleep‑experts generally suggest the following patterns:

• Newborns and very young infants cannot reliably self-soothe. Their nervous systems and sleep cycles are immature, and they often need caregivers for comfort and regulation.

• Many babies begin to show early self-soothing behaviors around 3 to 4 months, such as bringing hands to mouth, fussing less when gently laid down, or briefly calming themselves when awake but drowsy.

• By around 4 to 6 months, many babies’ sleep cycles mature further, making it possible for them to fall asleep on their own or return to sleep after a brief waking, especially when supported by a consistent bedtime routine and sleep environment.

• However—and this is important—readiness can vary widely between babies. Some may take longer; others may show early signs and then experience sleep regressions. That’s completely normal.

Self-Soothing Techniques

Babies begin to experiment with self-soothing techniques as they grow. These are often instinctive and comforting behaviors that help them relax, regulate emotions, or fall asleep on their own. Here's a quick look at some common self-soothing techniques for babies:

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, self-soothing baby behaviors often emerge when caregivers offer consistent bedtime routines, emotional reassurance, and opportunities for the baby to settle independently.

Note: Always follow safe sleep guidelines. Avoid loose objects in the crib for babies under 12 months.

How to Teach Your Baby to Self-Soothe

If you're wondering how to teach your newborn to self-soothe, try these steps:

Remember, how to teach an infant to self-soothe will vary from child to child. Be responsive, supportive, and flexible.

Self-Soothing Tips and Best Practices

Expect progress, not perfection. Self-soothing develops over time. It's normal for babies to need help occasionally—even older babies may have nights when they need extra comfort.

• Be consistent and calm. Babies learn when they consistently experience a calm, predictable sleep environment paired with sensitive caregiving. Over time, that support helps them feel secure enough to start calming themselves.

• Watch for readiness cues. Signs like thumb sucking, less need for rocking, or longer sleep stretches may indicate growing independence.

• Avoid the myth that infant self-soothing = cry‑it‑out. Leaving an infant to cry for extended periods without checking in or offering comfort is not what self-soothing means. The goal is emotional regulation and creating a supportive path to independence.

• Prioritize safe sleep. Always place your baby on their back to sleep, use a firm mattress, and avoid loose bedding or soft objects—especially under 12 months—to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

These self-soothing tips help build a secure foundation for sleep and emotional development. And remember—every baby has their own pace.

When to Contact Your Healthcare Provider

While it's normal for babies to wake during the night or need help settling, there are times when it may be helpful to check in with your baby's healthcare provider. Consider seeking support if:

• Your baby is very hard to calm or cries excessively despite having their needs met

• Your baby seems overly sleepy, difficult to awaken, or their sleep patterns shift dramatically

• Sleep issues persist past 6 months and are interfering with their daily mood, feeding, or development

• You notice signs of possible discomfort, such as feeding difficulties or suspected reflux that seem to disrupt sleep.

Keep in mind that all babies develop at their own pace. Still, if you feel concerned or if your baby's sleep struggles seem more intense or prolonged than expected, your healthcare provider can offer reassurance and guidance tailored to your little one's needs.

The Bottom Line

Self-soothing is a valuable skill that babies begin to develop with time, support, and gentle guidance. While every baby learns at their own pace, you can encourage this process by creating a calm bedtime routine, watching for readiness cues, and responding with patience. With consistent care—and the comfort of a clean, dry diaper—your little one will gradually gain the confidence to settle themselves. Trust your instincts, and don’t hesitate to reach out to your baby’s healthcare provider if you need extra support.