Toddler Sleep Training Solutions That Work!
Key Takeaways for better baby sleep
Sleep training toddlers can be more challenging than babies because toddlers are so much more active and vocal. Rest assured, though, there are some tips and tricks to help you:
If your toddler had been sleeping well but suddenly is up all night, it may be a sleep regression, separation anxiety, or something else. Ask them to see if they can explain what’s bothering them.
Ready to sleep train but not sure where to start? Download the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™ app - co-developed with pediatricians this easy-to-use app guides you step-by-step through your toddler's sleep challenges with a personalized approach, to help you get sleep on track, fast!
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If you’ve got a toddler, bedtime might be a challenging part of the day, especially if you’re trying to get your little one to sleep on their own. Luckily, there are lots of toddler sleep-training techniques, tips, and solutions to cope with just about any issue. With these in hand, along with a big dose of patience on your part, easier bedtimes are not too far away. Read on to find out more about what toddler sleep training is and how to make it work in your home.
What Is Toddler Sleep Training?
Sleep is crucial for your toddler’s healthy development. Your child will typically need around 11 to 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, which may include 1 or 2 naps of 1 to 2 hourseach.
But getting a toddler to peacefully doze off at night is easier said than done, especially if your child is struggling to fall asleep independently or can't wind down after an exciting day of playtime.
This is where sleep training can help. During the toddler years, one of the chief goals of sleep training is to get your child to be able to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own without crying out for you and without getting out of bed to come and find you.
Sleep training may also help your child learn to be able to fall back asleep by themselves when they awaken during the night.
In other words, sleep training is a broad term for a process that aims to slowly reduce your involvement in your toddler settling down while in bed and falling asleep. Sleep training is not a one-size-fits-all approach, and one style of sleep training may work better for you and your little one than another.
You may need to experiment with a few different approaches, but by remaining calm and consistent you'll eventually be successful in sleep training your toddler.
Your Toddler’s Sleep Stages
During sleep, everyone cycles through different stages of sleep, switching between non-REM sleep and REM sleep, which is when dreaming happens. Here's what occurs every night as your toddler goes through the different stages of sleep:
Why Toddlers Can Struggle to Stay in Bed and Fall Asleep
Before launching into sleep training, it's helpful to understand why your toddler may be fighting bedtime and resisting going to sleep. Here are just some of the reasons your toddler may be struggling:
Keep in mind that, as with other aspects of toddler behavior and development, there can be ups and downs with sleep training. Even if your child was sleeping well before, it’s not unusual for something to crop up that makes settling down before bedtime a challenge once again.
Mandy Treeby, Chief Pediatric Sleep Consultant and co-founder of the Smart Sleep Coach, offers her top tips for sleep:
How to Sleep Train Your Toddler: Basic Guidelines
Though there are different techniques for sleep training your toddler, nearly all of them focus on a few general principles. Here's what to do and bear in mind as you begin sleep training:
1. Follow a Consistent Bedtime Routine
Experts agree that having a calming and consistent bedtime routine is a crucial part of sleep training. Doing the same things in the same order every night helps your child to wind down and gives notice that the time for sleep is coming.
For starters, set a bedtime and stick to it. Toddlers crave routine and having a set time helps communicate that bedtime is bedtime regardless of what else may be going on.
Keep things calm in the hour or so before bedtime. No active games or running around and avoid screen time.
Then, in the 20 or 30 minutes before bedtime, begin a set routine that might look something like this:
No matter what you decide to include in your nighttime ritual, be sure to keep the whole thing short and simple so that it’s easy to do consistently. If other caregivers (such as grandparents or babysitters) will be putting your little one to bed, make sure they know the routine and follow it as well.
2. Reassure But Don’t Reward Crying
If your child wakes in the night and calls out for you, respond by reassuring your little one that everything is OK, and that it’s time for sleep. Keep your voice soft and the lights down.
The goal is to reassure your little one, but not reward their cries by offering too much attention.
Initially, you may need to go right over to them, but eventually you’ll get to the point where you can just reassure your little one from the door.
Avoid the temptation to soothe your toddler by letting them sleep in your bed, as the goal with sleep training is to train your toddler to fall asleep on their own, even if they awaken during the night.
3. Be Firm About Staying in Bed
If your toddler is in a bed, not a crib, you may have the added problem that your toddler will actually get out of bed.
Make sure the rule about staying in bed is clear. If they do crawl out, experts recommend not making a fuss but quietly reminding your toddler they need to go back to bed. Put them back in bed if they don’t go on their own without saying anything more. Then leave and close the door.
Don’t show that you’re getting frustrated or upset. Be firm and consistent. In time your toddler will learn that nothing fun happens if they get out of bed.
If you’re potty training, one exception to this rule could be if your toddler needs to use the potty. Once they’re done, don’t let them linger. Calmly remind them that they need to return to bed.
4. Use Positive Reinforcement
Encourage independent sleep by rewarding desired behavior.
Some ideas might include:
Consistency is crucial—avoid random rewards for crying or leaving the bed.
5. Try Daytime Preparation
Preparing your toddler during the day helps reduce bedtime resistance. Being open and positive with them may be beneficial.
Techniques might include:
Your Sleep Training Toolkit for Bedtime Battles
You've faithfully followed the bedtime routine and said your good nights. Then your child starts crying, or throws a tantrum, or won't stay in bed. Now what? For many parents and toddlers, this is the trickiest time of all, and the point at which you must have to take a deep breath and summon every ounce of wisdom you can muster.
Here are some parent-tested methods and strategies for these challenging scenarios.
In-and-Out Checks
This toddler sleep-training technique involves briefly checking on your child when they cry but not picking them up. When you go in, remain neutral and say something like “Sweetie, everything’s OK, it’s time to sleep now.” Don’t stay for long—just a minute or two at most.
You may need to do several “ins and outs” before your child falls asleep, and you will need to keep it up for several nights in a row to start seeing improvements. Eventually, your child will get used to falling asleep without you and won’t cry out for you.
Disappearing Chair
This toddler sleep-training approach could work well for a child who starts crying even before you say good night and leave the room.
Start by sitting quietly by your toddler’s bed for a short time as they fall asleep. The next night, move your chair further from the bed, where your child can still see you, and keep doing this in the following nights until you and the chair are in the hallway outside the room, but you can still hear them.
The theory is that your child gradually gets used to falling asleep with you being farther and farther away, and eventually will be able to fall asleep even if you’re in another room.
However, a potential downside of this method is that your child must get used to something different every few nights, which may prolong the process. Just as your toddler gets used to you being two feet away, they must get used to falling asleep with you by the door, and so on.
The Countdown
In this toddler sleep-training method, you stay with your toddler for a block of time that progressively shortens each night. The key feature is that five minutes before you leave, you tell your toddler “I’ll stay another five minutes,” and then leave when the five minutes are up.
As an example, you could spend a total of 20 minutes with your child the first night; at the 15-minute mark you tell your toddler you’re staying for another 5 minutes. The next night stay for 15 minutes but tell your toddler you’ll be there another 5 minutes at the 10-minute mark.
With this method, you’ll get to the point where you can stay just five minutes, and then eventually zero minutes as your toddler gets used to the fact that you’ll be gone after tucking them in and giving the last hug and kiss.
Always phrase your five-minute warnings positively: Emphasize that you’re still staying another five minutes, rather than that you’re only staying for so long or that you’ll be leaving soon.
An option is to add a timer to the routine. This can help prevent arguments about the time being up so soon or begging for just another minute. Once the timer goes off, your toddler knows that it’s time for you to leave.
“Hold On, I’ll Be Back in a Sec”
This technique begins during the day, when you're going to help your child learn to wait a short while (in other words, practice being patient). For example, you might say “Hold on, Daddy has to give Mommy her keys in the other room,” and then step away for a few moments. Once your child understands what’s happening and can wait calmly during the day for about a minute, you can use this as a sleep-training method at bedtime.
When your child is lying in bed, say “Wait a moment, I’ve just got to check something in the hallway,” and return after a few moments. Tell your child that they waited well and give them lots of praise.
When you first start, the waiting periods should be very short—only up to 20 seconds long—especially if your toddler has never been alone in their bed at nighttime before.
Build up to doing a few of these, with each waiting period being progressively longer.
This sleep-training method gets your toddler used to being alone in their room at night without you there. Eventually, you’ll be able to get to the point where you can leave the room without promising to return.
Make a Deal
Another toddler sleep-trainingapproach is a card or ticket system. You don’t need to use physical cards, but the idea is that your toddler gets two cards at the start of the night. If your toddler calls out for you for any reason at all, you’ll go straight to them, but each time you go they’ll lose a card.
In the morning, though, if they still have both of their cards they will get a special treat, like a sticker or the chance to do an extra-fun activity that they love.
For this method, don’t forget the power of profuse praise. If they still have one card in the morning when they normally use up both, tell them how great they are and that they’re almost there. Here’s an example: “Look at you, only using up one card! I noticed how quiet you were last night. I’m so proud of you! Maybe tonight you’ll be able to stay in bed quietly and keep both your cards and get that special sticker in the morning.”
Rehearse Bedtime
This toddler sleep-training technique involves taking the edge off bedtime by “practicing” during the day.
In the morning or afternoon, when everyone is feeling relaxed, have a practice session. Perhaps both of you can get into your favorite pajamas and brush your teeth together. Then you can let your little one choose a book to read before you both practice jumping into bed ready for sleep. Maybe you can even pretend to snore very loudly from the next room to add to the fun.
The key with the rehearsal is to make it as fun as possible and to create positive associations around bedtime. You might like to have a competition to see who can remember all the steps of the bedtime routine so that there’s a sense of achievement around getting bedtime “right.”
As part of your rehearsals, you might also like to ask your toddler if anything about bedtime has been bothering them. An older toddler may be able to articulate that they’re scared of the dark, while a younger toddler may point to something scary like a shadow on the wall or an open closet door.
This may provide insight on how to help reduce any anxiety: Keeping the light on in the hallway might help your toddler if they’re scared of the dark, whereas moving objects that cast scary shadows might help reassure them if they’re afraid of shadows turning into monsters.
Optimize Your Toddlers Sleep Environment
A comfortable, predictable sleep environment is essential for helping toddlers fall asleep independently.
Key Tips include:
Tip
Before sleep training, ensure your toddler’s sleep environment is safe:
Bed rails or mattress on the floor
Outlet covers and secured furniture
Remove choking hazards and small toys
Night-light if needed.
Sleep Training Solutions for Special Circumstances
Some sleep transitions require extra guidance. Here are some special circumstances and quick tips to approach them:
The Big Kid Room Switcheroo
If your little one has been sleeping in a crib in your room, transitioning them to their own room can be a major adjustment. If you make a big deal out of what a great next step this is, your toddler may look forward to the move, as children this age love being able to do “big kid” things.
Start with naps being in their bed in their own room. If your child has been sleeping well on their own while in your room, you may even be able to close the door without a fuss.
After a week or so, you can have nighttime sleeps take place in their own room too.
Offer lots of praise for how well your toddler is sleeping in their own room. You can make it more exciting by letting your child choose a special blanket or toy to sleep with, and by rewarding those nights when your child stayed in their own bedroom all night.
Keep in mind that if your child is struggling with sleeping on their own in their new room, you may need to try one of the other sleep-training methods on this list so that your child can get used to both sleeping in a new environment and sleeping on their own.
The New Bed Camp Out
If you’re transitioning your toddler from the crib to a toddler bed, then the camping out method could work for you.
Basically, you’ll be sleeping next to the toddler bed on a spare mattress or in a sleeping bag to help reassure your toddler.
After a couple of days, sit in a chair a little further away from the bed until your toddler falls asleep. Over a few days, slowly move further and further away from the bed until you are at the door and then out in the hallway.
If your toddler gets out of the bed, remind them that they need to stay in bed. Don’t reward them by letting them join the rest of the family or by letting them crawl into your bed.
Whenever your toddler has stayed in bed as you’ve asked them, heap praise on them.
If you’re concerned about your toddler rolling over and falling out of the toddler bed, you may want to invest in atoddler bed rail or move the mattress to the floor.
When to Contact Your Child’s Healthcare Provider
Reach out to your child's healthcare provider at any time if you’re struggling with bedtime. Help and resources are available, and you’re not alone! Your child’s provider will be able to offer some personalized guidance that may hold the key to successful sleep training.
Experts also recommend contacting your child’s provider if your little one seems to be having severe nightmares or night terrors.
FAQS AT A GLANCE
Yes, you can encourage your 2-year-old to learn to sleep independently by practicing sleep training, and a good first step is to implement a consistent bedtime routine. If you’re in any doubt about your child’s readiness or which technique might work best, ask their healthcare provider for personalized advice.
The Bottom Line
Helping your toddler learn to self-soothe and fall asleep without you is likely to be a marathon, not a sprint. Even though toddler sleep training can be tough on you and your little one, try to remember that good sleep habits are important for your little one, and by sticking to your routine even when it’s hard, calmer nights will soon be here.
Remember, with sleep training, consistency is the key, so once you’ve decided on an approach, follow it through and know that within a week or so your little one could be much better at falling asleep on their own and staying in bed.
It doesn’t hurt to keep in mind that you may not be done with sleep training for good once you’ve been through it. Being in an unusual environment, feeling sick, or another kind of upheaval in your toddler’s life or routine may cause disruptions in their ability to fall asleep without you. The good news is, if that happens, you’ll have the techniques and experience to know how to get things back on track.
If you’re still having trouble getting your toddler to sleep, take this FREE sleep assessment and get a personalized sleep plan when you download the Smart Sleep Coach app by Pampers. This easy-to-use app guides you through your toddler's sleep challenges with a personalized approach to help you get sleep on track.
- Mindell, Jodi A. Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep, revised ed. (New York: Harper Resource, 2005).
- American Academy of Pediatrics. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5, 7th ed. (New York: Bantam Books, 2019).
- Mayo Clinic. Guide to Your Baby’s First Years, 2nd ed. (Rochester, MN: Mayo Clinic Press, 2020).
- Kids Health. “Sleep and Your 1- to 2-Year-Old.”
- healthychildren.org.” Toddler Bedtime Trouble: Tips for Parents.”
- Kids Health. “Naps.”
- healthychildren.org. “Big Kid Beds: When to Make the Switch.”
